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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24214648">Jealousy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrePsychPineappleLover/pseuds/PrePsychPineappleLover'>PrePsychPineappleLover</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Psych (TV 2006)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I Hate Declan Rand, Jealous Shawn, Sorry Not Sorry, established shules</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:42:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,156</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24214648</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrePsychPineappleLover/pseuds/PrePsychPineappleLover</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"When Declan returns to Santa Barbara, Shawn is absolutely sure that he plans something sinister. Will Juliet trust Shawn's suspicion or will his jealousy cost him his life?" - My first multichapter story back in the day, so, sorry if it seems a little rough, haha. Also, I made Declan more evil than he really was, but hey, as I said, I really can't stand this guy! :)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Juliet O'Hara/Shawn Spencer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi, thanks to all of you who have read my stories until now! It's noticable that the Psych world is pumped for the next movie, haha! :)<br/>So, as I said in the description, this one was my first multichapter story ever. I almost didn't want to post it here, because in retrospect I didn't like it very much. I was testing the waters, so to speak, and wanted to see if I can write a story that's longer than one chapter. I think I could've done more with it, but I decided to be honest with you and post it just as I had it years ago. Also because FanFiction readers still seem to enjoy it, so it can't be all that bad… hopefully. :) Okay, I shut up now and let you be the judge of that…<br/>Oh, one more thing… for this story, pretend that San Francisco never happened… :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Declan Rand opened the newspaper one day and found out about the engagement, he didn't really know how he should react. Should he feel cheated? Jealous? Angry? Or should he pretend he was happy about it? It wasn't fair from the beginning. He could have given her anything she wanted. He destroyed his good-doing, profiling business by telling her the truth about him because Spencer advised him to do so. And what thanks does he get?</p>
<p>She runs back into Spencer’s arms. After all he did for her. Declan really couldn't choose which one of them he resented the most. No, wait, he could... he hated <em>Spencer</em> more. After all, Declan once loved that girl. Spencer just blinds her. The idiot didn't deserve her.</p>
<p>When Spencer inexplicably decided to take the ultimate step, Declan had to do something. It was an instinct reaction.</p>
<p>When Declan first showed up in Santa Barbara, he could hoax the whole department into thinking that he was a real profiler. And if he could get away with <em>that</em>, he figured he could also get away with playing the villain.</p>
<p>He didn't know just yet how far he would take this fraud. That depended on how much he wanted her back and what he would do to make it happen.</p>
<p>But there was one thing he knew for sure:</p>
<p>Shawn Spencer, of all people, wasn’t allowed to have his Juliet.</p><hr/>
<p>Juliet O’Hara (soon to be Spencer) was in a superior mood today.</p>
<p>Well, actually she’s been sporting that grin for a week now. Ever since the moment Shawn asked her to marry him. She was so surprised that he actually dared to ask her; that she meant so much to him; that he – being the commitment phobe that he was – could picture his whole life with her. Since that moment she’s been surrounded by a pink cloud of happiness. Lassiter could hardly stand it anymore. But Juliet was sure that secretly he was happy for her, too.</p>
<p>The Department was busy today. Officers, detectives, suspects and witnesses all mingled with each other. Everyone looked stressed and occupied, but soon Juliet would have her well-deserved lunch break. Shawn was going to pick her up. He had just sent her a sweet text message letting her know that he was on his way and couldn't wait to see her. She typed a reply when suddenly someone touched her arm.</p>
<p>“Hey, Juliet.”</p>
<p>She turned around, knitted her brows together and then her mouth gaped open like a fish. “Declan?”</p>
<p>“In the flesh. I'm glad to finally see you again.” he said and presented her a charming, dazzling smile.</p>
<p>Juliet was slightly puzzled by his joy and the fact that he was still touching her arm. She stepped back and the first words that came to her mind were, “What are you doing here?”</p>
<p>He laughed, seeming like he wasn't offended whatsoever. “I'd like to work for the Department again. I just came from Chief Vick's office to ask if she needed my help at the moment. I want to be useful again after my long... ehm, hiatus.” He dropped his voice and looked vulnerable and lost in thoughts. “I had a lot to process.”</p>
<p>Juliet instantly felt guilty; what he had to process was her breaking up with him. It must have seemed very abrupt and confusing for him, she thought. “Listen Declan, I'm sorry how it ended with us. It wasn't your fault, it was mine.” Juliet winced. <em>Oh god, that sounds so cliché.</em> “I know you cared a lot about me, but I just knew that I couldn't fly to the Amalfi Coast with you, because... I already belonged to someone else.” She didn't look him in the eyes, absently playing with her engagement ring.</p>
<p>Just for a second, Juliet thought that Declan stiffened; as if he had a hard time keeping calm and collected. But then he just smiled again. “It’s Shawn, isn’t it? You're engaged to him now.”</p>
<p>“Yes.” Juliet answered and couldn't help but smile just thinking about that fact. “Just recently.”</p>
<p>“Well, you seem to be happy. Back then I always suspected that there was something going on between the two of you.” She smiled sheepishly and wanted to add something, when suddenly a huge, tattooed man with handcuffs was led past them. “Can we go for a walk? So we can talk privately?” he asked her.</p>
<p>Juliet tensed. Not because <em>she</em> didn’t feel comfortable to be alone with him, but because she knew what Shawn would think if he saw them together. Declan had unsettled him before. But, at this point, Shawn didn't need to feel insecure anymore. Even so, she would rather they didn’t meet again. “Well, actually I‘m meeting with Shawn for my lunch break...” She paused when she saw how his face fell and changed her mind. It’s just a walk. Declan is allowed to <em>talk</em> to her at least, right? “But we can go outside and wait for him.”</p>
<p>He eagerly agreed and she and Declan made their way through the building and sat down on a bench outside of the station. “So, tell me,” Declan said casually, “What did I do wrong? What does he have that I don’t?”</p>
<p>“I already said that it’s not your fault. You were always sweet and knew just what to say…” Juliet assured him and laid a hand on his arm.</p>
<p>“But that's the thing I don't understand—I have a mansion, my own helicopter, a personal chef, who could make you whatever you wanted whenever you wanted it. I took you on trips, that he surely can't even afford.”</p>
<p>She smiled, thinking of Shawn. “That's true. But a relationship is not about material things... Shawn offers me something… more.” She didn't say it out loud, but knew he could read from her face what she meant.</p>
<p>“Oh,” he said, a strange grin appearing on his face. “I'm sure he does.”</p><hr/>
<p>Shawn Spencer was in a superior mood today.</p>
<p>He’s been in that mood ever since he dared to ask Jules to marry him. Ever since she said <em>yes</em>. Gus could hardly stand being around him anymore, stating that Shawn was even annoying than usual. Shawn was sure that he was just jealous.</p>
<p>So, Shawn was on his own, heading to the Department to pick up his new fiancée for lunch. Walking with her was even better than driving in the Blueberry together; he could hold her hand that way. The pink good-mood-bubble surrounded him until he saw her in front of the SBPD on a bench with another man, who ruthlessly drove a long, thick needle into his bubble and burst it effectively.</p>
<p>Declan.</p>
<p>Out of all of Juliet's former boyfriends, of which there weren't many in the first place, why did it have to be him?! They were facing each other and Declan said something that made her laugh. Shawn didn't notice that he was balling his hands into tight fists. <em>Only an inch closer and Declan would be sitting in her lap!</em></p>
<p>Shawn quickly strode towards them. “What a lovely surprise!” He exclaimed loudly, making Jules look like she was caught with her hand in the cookie jar.</p>
<p>“Shawn.” Juliet stood up quickly. Shawn felt her slip her smaller hand into his balled fist, as if to assure him that she was on his side. “Could you be a bit nicer, please?” she asked softly and squeezed his hand.</p>
<p>Shawn knew that she was trying to pour oil on troubled water and he did suddenly feel more comfortable with her hand in his, but that didn't mean that he liked Declan one bit more. “For all I care. Hello, <em>Declan</em>.” Shawn spat his name with disgust and didn't look him in the face. He didn't deserve more.</p>
<p>Declan grinned back and Shawn could definitely hear a phony charm in his voice as his opponent replied. “Hello, Shawn.”</p>
<p>“You know,” Juliet said, looking between the two men as if she thought making a false movement could set off a bomb. “Declan is considering working for the Department again and has to sort out some things with Chief Vick. That's why he’s here.”</p>
<p>“Oh, really.” Shawn said and put on a false smile. “I think we'll get along fine without you, but thanks anyway.” Juliet jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow.</p>
<p>“Yeah, it seems you've got everything under control, I guess.” Declan sighed and nodded towards Juliet's left ring finger. “Luck was on your side again.”</p>
<p>“Oh, so you heard about us.” Shawn grinned smugly. “Jules and I are engaged now.” He hugged her closer to his side and kissed her temple. He looked down at her, seeing guilt flit across her face. She cleared her throat.</p>
<p>“The wedding is going to be in a few months.” she told Declan. “Why don't you come?”</p>
<p>“WHAT!?” Shawn looked at her in horror.<em> Was she serious!?</em></p>
<p>Shawn felt the triumph practically radiating from Declan when he said, “Oh, I would love to.” Eyes fixing on Shawn’s.</p>
<p>“You're cordially invited.” Juliet told him, “After all, we're all <em>adults</em>, here, right?” Juliet threw a sideway glance at Shawn.</p>
<p>“Being an adult was never your strong suit, was it?” Declan grinned confidently.</p>
<p>Shawn pierced Declan with a death glare and chose to ignore him from now on. A little desperate, he took both of Jules' hands in his and explained subdued, “I thought we would decide who's going to be on the guest list together?”</p>
<p>Declan stood. “Well, I guess I leave you two alone now. Juliet, maybe I’ll see you again at the station.” She nodded, then he left, disappearing into the mass of cars in the parking lot.</p>
<p>As soon as Declan was out of view, Shawn removed his hands from Juliet’s to sift them through his hair in frustration. “Jules, why did you have to invite him? You don't invite the ex to the wedding, it never ends well!”</p>
<p>“And who says that? Your movies, in which women threw themselves at every man who walk their way? You forget that I'm not one of them.” Jules reminded him sternly.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I know, but maybe <em>he's</em> one of them! Why else should he be here? I'm not buying his ‘looking for a job’ crap for one second and plus he's a fraud.”</p>
<p>“So are you!” She countered immediately, which silenced him. Juliet sighed. “Shawn, calm down. Inviting Declan to our wedding was the least I could do. I left him without any explanation. Nobody deserves that, right?”</p>
<p>Shawn crossed his arms in front of his chest and pouted. Maybe she was right. “Well,” he said stubbornly. “It isn't my fault that you thought I was more attractive, handsome and charming than him.”</p>
<p>She smiled, stepped closer to him and loosened his arms. “It wasn't only because of all that.” she said and he looked up. “Back then, I heard you with Gus, when you said you couldn't be happy without me. And because you wanted me to be happy, you put my happiness in front of yours.” Shawn stared at her, stunned; he didn't know she knew that. Juliet closed the gap between them and Shawn felt her wrap her arms around his waist. “And then it became clear to me that you are the only one I truly love.”</p>
<p>Shawn relaxed and the comforting feeling of luck began to spread again. Mischievously, he grinned at her. “And because of my hair, right? You have to admit that it played a prominent role in your decision."</p>
<p>She laughed. “If that is what you must hear to calm your jealousy, then yes. Your hair is awesome.”</p>
<p>“I'm not jealous!” Shawn protested.</p>
<p>Juliet held one finger in front of his face and poked him in the chest. “Don't you dare. You practically tried to kill Declan with your eyes.”</p>
<p>“Well, I have something to fight for.” he admitted and kissed her passionately. She responded to his kiss, wrapped her arms around him tighter and he wrapped his around her. Everything seemed to be back in the right place. There it was again, the unbelievable, pleasant feeling to have everything you've ever wanted.</p>
<p>When they finally separated, she said, “But you don't have to fight anymore, Shawn. You’ve already won. I belong to you. I will marry only you and nobody else.” She kissed him reassuringly again and he grinned.</p>
<p>“You're damn right, you will. Now let's eat. I'm starving.” She laughed and intertwined her fingers with his as they walked on.</p><hr/>
<p>Declan seethed internally, having listened to the rest of Shawn and Juliet’s conversation from behind one of the cars in the lot.</p>
<p>He was sure that he had done enough. Juliet even knew about Shawn’s secret and stayed with Spencer anyway. So why couldn't she stay with him then?! It was Shawn’s fault. He was to blame! Declan had to concentrate on him, if he wanted to trigger a reaction. Shawn was much easier to unsettle and he would make sure that everybody witnessed how easy it was to throw him off.</p>
<p>Everyone he tricked with his charade.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey, thanks so much everyone for reading. :)<br/>If Shawn seems a little out of character to you, blame it on the jealous rage, haha.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Two days later, Shawn saw Declan at Juliet’s desk. He chatted with her, with apparently no concern in the world. As if he was saying: <em>'Leave that idiot alone and come along with me!' </em></p>
<p>Shawn knew that Juliet would never do that to him, but the fact that Declan even dared to try anyway made him furious.</p>
<p>The past few days, Shawn had spent every day at the station to make sure that Declan didn't try something, following Juliet around like a guard dog. Shawn could tell she didn't like it much, but she didn’t say anything. He also could tell that Declan knew he was being watched. Did that make him back off? No, of course not! He seemed to get even closer to her on purpose.</p>
<p>“Lassie.” Shawn whispered and waved the Head Detective a.k.a. Juliet’s other guard dog over to him. “Lassie, come here.“</p>
<p>Lassiter certainly didn’t like to be whistled over like a mutt, which was obvious in his features, but Shawn’s total lack of goofiness in this situation seemed to make him curious. “What do you want from me, Spencer? I'm busy.“ he said gruffly.</p>
<p>From his hiding place behind the pillar Shawn nodded towards Declan and, to his delight, Lassiter’s face also turned sour. Well, even more than before. “What do you think of that? I mean, that he keeps showing up here?“</p>
<p>“I don't trust the guy.“ Lassiter grumbled, shooting metaphorical daggers at the man, who was throwing himself at his partner. “I don’t know what the Chief was thinking bringing him back in here. After all we already have an insufferable idiot hanging around.”</p>
<p>Shawn ignored the jab and almost pumped his fist into the air. “See! I knew that I wasn't the only one suffering from Declan fever! So I’m guessing you don’t think it’s a coincidence that Declan shows up right when Jules and I get engaged?“</p>
<p>Lassiter breathed out in irritation.</p>
<p>“What?” Shawn asked.</p>
<p>“I still can’t believe that O’Hara actually wants to marry you. By choice.” Lassiter said. “But better a smart-ass fraud than a stinking rich, smart-ass fraud, right?”</p>
<p>“Right.” Shawn said warily.</p>
<p>Lassie stared at Declan and Juliet. Suddenly serious, he said, “I’d keep my eye on him, if I were you.“ he said to Shawn, who looked attentively at him for once. “Because it looks like he’s got his eyes on your fiancée."</p>
<p>Momentarily surprised that Lassiter showed compassion, Shawn followed the man’s gaze and felt heat rise under his skin, when Declan touched Juliet’s arm casually. “You bet I will. Thanks, Lassie.“ he said and the Detective left him alone.</p>
<p>Normally Shawn would have walked over to them long ago and shooed Declan away, but he tried to believe in Juliet’s words, that Declan isn't here for her. Even though his gut told him otherwise. He didn't want to embarrass her and make a scene in front of all her colleagues.</p>
<p>Not that that had ever really stopped him before.</p>
<p>More than that, he wanted to trust her. But, he realized, it wasn’t Juliet’s trust he was worried about.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Of course, Juliet had seen Shawn behind the pillar. He’s been guarding her like a valuable exhibit at a museum. She didn’t think that Declan’s behavior was inappropriate in any way. He was just talking to her. Sure, he was sweet and considerate, but in an absolutely platonic way. He had always been like that. But she also knew that Shawn would disagree.</p>
<p>“By the way, Juliet have you noticed that we’re being watched?” Declan asked now.</p>
<p>Lost in her thoughts, Juliet frowned for a moment, but then nodded as she caught up. “Yeah, I've noticed.“</p>
<p>“And? Aren't you bothered by that? He seems very… possessive to me.“ he said accusingly.</p>
<p>Juliet smiled slightly, catching Shawn’s gaze for a moment and seeing the irritation and deep concern in his eyes. “He’s… trying. You know very well that this whole situation is hard for him, but he tries at least.“</p>
<p>“Maybe I should talk to him.“ Declan suggested.</p>
<p>“Oh, I don't think this is a good idea, Declan.“ Juliet said to him quickly, but he held his hands up to calm her. The perfect picture of innocence.</p>
<p>“Only to make it clear to him that he doesn't have to worry. I have accepted that you belong with him now. The reason I’m back in Santa Barbara is purely job-related." His smile was dazzling. After hesitating a bit, she smiled back.</p>
<p>“I already tried to explain that to him.” Juliet said with a sigh. “But maybe it will help if he hears it from you." She was glad that Declan was willing reconcile their differences. If he made the first step, she didn't have any doubt that Shawn would be more reasonable himself.</p>
<p>“I will proceed with tactfulness, Juliet. Don't worry.“ Declan promised her friendly and confident.</p>
<p>Then he turned his back to her, shooting Shawn a darkly smug look.</p>
<hr/>
<p>As soon as Shawn saw Declan’s face he instantly knew for a fact that he was right from the beginning. <em>He </em>is<em> fooling her; he’s just pretending to be innocent and friendly to drive us apart.</em> Angrily, Shawn glared back as Declan approached him. Shawn was sure that Declan knew that Shawn saw through him. <em>I have to stay calm, </em>he told himself.</p>
<p>“Why are you hiding Shawn? <em>Jules</em> and I don’t like being watched.“ Declan said, his voice slick with arrogance.</p>
<p>“Don't you dare calling her Jules!“ Shawn hissed. “The only one who's hiding would be <em>you</em>. Behind your stupid smile and that ridiculous job-story.“</p>
<p>Declan smiled. “Well, you’re apparently the only one who can see through me again. Or did you <em>sense</em> it, <em>psychic</em>?”</p>
<p>Shawn simmered. “That’s where you’re wrong. I'm not the only one and in five minutes everyone will know the actual reason you're here.“</p>
<p>“Oh, really? Because I just told <em>Jules</em> that I’m here to talk to you on a friendly basis. To reconcile.“</p>
<p>Shawn scoffed. “You think that she believes you?" He forced himself to stay calm, inwardly cringing when Declan used <em>his</em> nickname for Juliet again.</p>
<p>“Oh yeah, she believes me. I could probably make her believe that the sun circles the earth if I wanted to. It's really sad how naive and trusting she is.“ Declan shook his head in pity and Shawn balled his hands into fists. “That's why you can still lie to her so easily, right?“ Declan added.</p>
<p><em>“I Don’t Lie To Her Anymore</em><em>!" </em>With every word it was getting harder for Shawn not to scream. His heart pounded and his fists were clenched so tightly that it hurt.</p>
<p>“You can't tell me that you really want to <em>marry</em> her.” Declan shook his head and spoke to him like he was a stubborn child. “Shawn... men like us deserve better than that. We could manipulate any woman into <em>thinking</em> that she loves us.“</p>
<p>“Shut up!“ Shawn growled.</p>
<p>"It's the same with Jules.“</p>
<p><em>"I said shut up</em>!“</p>
<p>Declan grinned smugly. “And when I manage to trick her into sleeping with me then we also know that she’s a slut, too.”</p>
<p>
  <em>That's </em>
  <em>enough! </em>
</p>
<p>Shawn's self-control broke down. The held back rage spread through his whole body and he saw red. Without holding back, he punched Declan across his hideous smirking face. Declan cursed and fell to the floor, blood pouring from his nose. Before Shawn could hit him again someone shouted his name and he was yanked back.</p>
<p>“Hey! Spencer, stop!“ Lassiter growled into his ear as he jerked him back. Shawn was still so tense that he almost hit Lassiter in the process, hadn't the detective restrained his arms.</p>
<p>“Shawn!“ Juliet yelled as she stormed the scene. She looked absolutely shocked.</p>
<p>Shawn suddenly realized that half of the Department's staff surrounded him and Declan, who was still lying on the floor. And when he came clear again he stared right into the angry face of his fiancée.</p>
<p>“Shawn... what has gotten into you?”</p>
<p>It wasn't more than a whisper. Shawn was pretty sure that his eyes were dark and full of hate right now. And usually he always took care that Juliet never saw him like that. “Jules...“ Shawn panted still furious, but calming down. “You should have heard what he just--“</p>
<p>“We will talk later!“ Juliet cut him off and turned towards Declan, who tried to stop the bleeding from his broken nose. “My god, you're bleeding pretty heavily. Here, take a tissue.“</p>
<p>“Thanks.“ Declan wheezed quietly. “I really didn't want that to happen, Juliet.“</p>
<p>“It's okay.“ She said and pressed the tissue against his nose.</p>
<p>Shawn couldn't believe it. Declan played the victim again. And he won! Shawn felt cheated and exploited and he opened his mouth to explain all that to Jules. But Lassiter stopped him.</p>
<p>“Not now. Wait until she calms down.“ Lassiter said and pushed him backwards. Shawn fought it weakly, feeling like he was the one who got punched in the face. Probably in an awkward attempt to try and cheer him up, Lassiter complimented him for his excellent punch, but Shawn couldn’t even be proud of that.</p>
<p>Shawn waited in the momentarily empty lobby. When Juliet finally came to him, her face was red with anger.</p>
<p>“What the hell were you thinking, Spencer! You broke his nose. Are you happy now!?“ Juliet spoke fuming.</p>
<p>Quickly, Shawn got to his feet. “Please, let me explain. It was a misunderstanding.“ Shawn started clumsily. <em>Man, I should be better with words.</em></p>
<p>“Oh, so you didn't want to hit him?“ she questioned sarcastically.</p>
<p>“No... yes, I mean, <em>you </em>misunderstood something!“ Now that was the even worse thing to say. She crossed her arms and inhaled indignantly. But before she could reply, Shawn explained, “It was all an act! That friendly crap! He <em>admitted</em> to me that he was trying to trick you. He said things about you… you wouldn't want to hear. I can't even repeat it."</p>
<p>“Shawn--“ Juliet said, clearly not buying it.</p>
<p><em>She had been talking to him first,</em> Shawn realized enraged. He didn't even want to know what Declan must have told her to make her so against him. “He said you're naive and too trusting. He called you... a slut." Shawn growled and fumed again only thinking back to the offensive word Declan used.</p>
<p>Juliet's mouth gaped open. “What are you talking about? He said--“</p>
<p>“Do you believe <em>him</em> more than <em>me</em>?” Shawn cut her off in a louder voice. “I'm your fiancé!“</p>
<p>„That's why I can't believe that you're capable of doing something like that! I don't know what to believe anymore!“ Juliet exclaimed desperately.</p>
<p>“Then trust me!" Shawn exclaimed. "He‘s manipulating you! He wants to drive us apart to have you for himself!“</p>
<p>Juliet snorted humorlessly. “Are you listening to yourself? How can you <em>still</em> be so jealous?“</p>
<p>Shawn stared at her, stunned. How could she believe Declan over him! “That's not the point!“ Shawn yelled. “It's about him! He just uses you, can't you see! I just want to protect you!”</p>
<p>“I don't want to be protected!“ She yelled back and after that everything was silent.</p>
<p>The whole Department, was dead silent.</p>
<p>Everyone had heard them.</p>
<p>Them, the perfect couple.</p>
<p>Shawn stared at Juliet. She stared back. He felt like she had punched him in the gut and he could tell that she realized how hurtful her words were. But before she could apologize, Shawn stepped back.</p>
<p>“Alright. I guess I just thought my fiancée trusted me.“ he muttered and walked past her and out of the station. He ignored all the looks they gave him. It felt like the biggest betrayal he had ever experienced. And she was not on his side. Shawn saw Declan on his way out. The bleeding consultant threw him a snotty grin despite his swollen nose.</p>
<p><em>That bastard is to blame for everything, </em>Shawn thought furiously.<em> Whatever Declan was planning, he might actually get it.</em> But Shawn didn't want to lose Juliet. He couldn’t. Dammit, he wanted to marry her! He loved her like he never loved anybody else before. He had to fight for her.</p>
<p>Desperate, angry and depressed Shawn left the station to let out his fury.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Gus stopped by at the Psych office after his route, he was surprised when he heard strange noises coming from the main room. It sounded like someone was fighting. Gus grabbed his sample case tightly to fight off any possible attacker and leaped into the room.</p><p>No attacker.</p><p>Gus loosened his grip again but what he saw however was not less unsettling; Shawn's desk was a mess and he was standing with his back turned towards Gus. Shawn had hung up the punching bag, which had been rotting in the storeroom until now. He wasn't wearing any boxing gloves but hitting the bag with his bare fists instead. Rather fiercely, Gus noticed.</p><p>“Shawn? What the hell are you doing?” Shawn didn't respond. Gus circled him to look into his face. Shawn just struck the bag again, beads of sweat trickling down his forehead. His face was red and scrunched up in concentration, his eyes dark and glowing with anger. “Hey, are you alright? What happened?”</p><p>“Declan happened.” Shawn only hissed and landed a violent right hook on the punching bag.</p><p>Although Gus didn't yet know what exactly had turned Shawn into Rambo, he knew that Shawn had been pretty upset that Declan showed up again. More than he would admit. Of course, Shawn also told Gus about his suspicion concerning Declan’s intentions. Gus knew Shawn was jealous, but he couldn't be <em>this</em> worked up just because of that. Something else must have happened. “Okay, Shawn, you’re not making any sense. No matter what Declan tried with Jules she obviously didn’t fall for it.”</p><p>“Like hell she didn’t!” Shawn shot back and hit the bag again. It swung violently and Gus jumped back to avoid getting hit by it. “She’s on <em>his</em> side now.”</p><p>“What?!” Gus exclaimed in disbelief. This couldn't be right. Jules wouldn't do that to his best friend. “Did she—“</p><p>“No.” Shawn interrupted. He stopped beating the punching bag and took a few deep breaths.</p><p>“He’s playing her. He acts like the good guy for her to pit us off against each other. And you know what? It worked! What a surprise, 'cause this guy just has to win at <em>everything</em>!” He shouted at the punching bag, his voice borderline hysterical.</p><p>“Hey, calm down.” Gus said slowly. “Tell me what exactly happened.”</p><p>“He provoked me on purpose,” Shawn grumbled. “I punched him. But Jules saw and she…” His voice broke, and he finally turned away from the punching bag and looked at his best friend. “We had a fight.”</p><p>Gus didn't need to know any more. He and Shawn were friends long enough to understand each other without many words. He laid a hand on Shawn’s shoulder sympathetically. “Jules will realize that you were right. Declan didn't manage to tear you two apart the first time so he can’t do it this time either. Actually, wasn't it the exact opposite? Declan was the reason why you and Juliet finally hooked up.” Gus reminded him.</p><p>“I don't know, Gus. I screwed up. I don't want to lose her.” Shawn muttered unusually quiet.</p><p>“You won't lose her.” Gus said, his hand tightening on Shawn’s shoulder. “And it's not your fault, you hear me.”</p><p>Shawn’s eyes darkened. “No, it’s <em>Declan’s</em>.” He frowned again and shook his head. “I’m going to go for a run.” he said, grabbed his cell and headphones without another word. The rage wasn’t out of his system just yet.</p><p>Gus didn’t stop him. He knew Shawn needed time to think. “Hey...“ he called after him when he was almost out the door. “Are you going to be—“ <em>alright</em>, was what he wanted to ask, but he only heard the door slamming in response.</p><p>Shawn was already gone.</p>
<hr/><p>After Shawn left the station, Juliet continued to hide in the lobby. She didn't want to face her colleagues; it was too embarrassing. She sat down on the bench, scooted into the corner and wiped her angry tears away, which rolled ceaselessly down her cheeks. Juliet didn't want that to happen. She didn't want to fight with Shawn. He was the man she loved. The only man she loved. And Shawn knew that.</p><p>Declan left some time ago, nose still bleeding, muttering that he had to think about whether or not he should work here after all. Juliet had felt bad for him at first, but now after her fight with Shawn... after she had seen how hurt and betrayed Shawn had looked at her… she wasn't so sure anymore. Was Declan really as innocent as he appeared to be? Juliet remembered what Shawn told her Declan had said about her and didn't want to believe it. Couldn't believe it.</p><p>“O'Hara?”</p><p><em>Dammit, I was hiding for too long, </em>Juliet berated herself as she heard Lassiter’s footsteps coming closer. She wiped over her face and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Despite her attempt to not look like it, she knew that Lassiter could see that she had been crying.</p><p>“Are you okay?” he asked awkwardly; talks like that weren't his strong suit.</p><p>“Of course, can’t you tell? Just peachy!” Juliet snapped sarcastically and sniffed a bit. Lassiter sat down next to her. She guessed that he wanted to say something but nothing came out of his mouth. Just as Juliet went to stand up to assure him that she was fine, he seemed to have found his voice again.</p><p>“O’Hara, I think Shawn’s right.” Lassiter admitted suddenly. Juliet stared at him from the side and he continued.</p><p>“I don't believe that Rand is here for work, either. Spencer was trying to protect you. I don't think he just acted out of jealousy alone.”</p><p>His words were simple. Sober. Like he wanted to make sure that he wasn't confused by his own feelings toward Shawn, so that she would believe him. Some more silent seconds passed.</p><p>“I don't know.” Juliet said finally and stood up. “Everything was so confusing and surreal. I have to think about it.” she said, leaving her partner on the bench to go home, where no one would be watching her. Where she felt safe.</p><p>She thought everything over. Lassiter's words shook her awake. He wasn't involved in her argument with Shawn and although it was clear to her that Lassiter liked neither Shawn nor Declan, he was undoubtably on Shawn’s side<em>. This has to mean that Shawn was right, right? </em>she mused.<em> We both were pretty upset. No wonder it escalated so badly.</em></p><p>Now that Juliet calmed down, the house seemed very quiet and empty. Shawn hadn't come home yet and it was now already late. Juliet had to talk to him and work this out. Needing something to do, she cooked dinner, which always served as a good distraction.</p><p>Then she waited.</p><p>He still didn't show up. Juliet tried to reach him on the phone but she only got his voicemail after it rang eternally. She listened to the automated message and said, <em>“Shawn, it's me. Listen,</em> <em>I think we should talk again. I'm home, come when you’re ready.”</em></p><p>After almost an hour, Juliet started eating and tried again: <em>“Hey, I made dinner for us. Where are you? Come home already, it's getting late.” </em>She was reasonably calm back then.</p><p>After yet another half an hour, she stood by the window constantly and her messages became increasingly more desperate: <em>“Shawn, please pick up! Are you still mad? I'm willing</em> <em>to believe you, okay? I need</em> <em>to talk to you. Please, come home.”</em></p><p>After that she didn't manage to wait for very much longer. She had already put on her jacket and shoes when she tried again<em>: “Shawn, are you getting my messages?! I'm worried about</em> <em>you! Where are you? I’m coming to look for you now. Please call me back as soon as</em> <em>you hear this.”</em></p><p>On her way outside, Juliet called another number and finally someone answered.</p><p>“Hello, Burton Guster.”</p><p>“Gus! Thank god that I reach you at least! Is Shawn with you?”</p><p>“No… isn't he home yet?” Gus asked.</p><p>“No. I’ve already been waiting for hours, but he isn’t even answering his phone. I'm starting to worry.” Juliet lamented, suddenly realizing how fast her heart was beating. What if Shawn took off on his bike? Did he felt so betrayed, so cheated that he would do that?</p><p>“Okay, calm down, Juliet. Maybe he forgot to charge his phone again.” Gus considered.</p><p>“No, it was ringing and kept going to voicemail. Something is wrong.” Juliet said worriedly and admired Gus for staying so calm while she was already freaking out.</p><p>“Alright, I’ll help you look for him. Don't panic. We’ll meet in ten minutes at the Psych office.”</p><p>She agreed, hung up and stepped on the gas. Once she got to the office, she tried the door, but it didn’t budge. It was locked. <em>Weird</em>, she thought, <em>Shawn never locks the door</em>.</p><p>“Have you already looked for him inside?” Gus asked when he arrived, getting out of his own car and joining her at the door.</p><p>“No, it's locked.”</p><p>Gus frowned. “So he didn't come back earlier?” he wondered aloud.</p><p>“What? Come back from where? Have you seen him?” Juliet immediately wanted to know.</p><p>“Yeah, a couple hours ago. I was here and Shawn had a fight with the punching bag.” Gus unlocked the door and let Juliet in. “I think he was pretty upset about... your argument.” he said, addressing the topic delicately.</p><p>Juliet looked around in the main room. Shawn was angry when he was here, she could see that. He had knocked over a few things on his desk and papers were scattered across it. Was he angry with <em>her?</em> Is that why he wasn’t answering her calls? Did he leave <em>her?</em></p><p>Obviously, Gus could see the fear in Juliet's eyes and continued quickly before she jumped to any conclusions. “He seemed upset, but I don't think that he was angry with you; he’s angry with Declan. Shawn didn't want to tell me what he said about you.”</p><p>“But he told me.” Juliet said quietly and suddenly she had no doubt anymore that Shawn was telling the truth. And she hadn’t believed him. “Shawn said that Declan insulted me. He said he just wanted to protect me.” she teared up again but tried to hold herself together. “Where did he go after you were with him?”</p><p>“He went for a run. When I left the Psych office he still wasn't back, so I locked up. But that was hours ago.” Gus realized uneasily.</p><p>Juliet fought back the panic that threatened to overwhelm her and tried to switch back into cop mode. “We’ll go look for him. Call Henry and ask if Shawn came by. I’m going to follow Shawn's jogging route.”</p><p>“Henry isn't home; Shawn mentioned he was out on some fishing trip.” Gus said. “I'll go with you. You know where he usually runs?”</p><p>Juliet nodded. “I’ve run with him a few times. If he chose the same route as always then I know where to go.” she responded and they took off.</p><p>----</p><p>Juliet knew Gus wasn’t half as fit as she was and it was getting visibly harder for him to keep up, but she ran ahead, determined and driven by fear.</p><p>“C-Can we t-take a break?” Gus wheezed eventually and supported himself on a street lamp, which stood on a quiet, broad side street.</p><p>“Gus, something could've happened to Shawn! We can't take a break!” Juliet decided fiercely. But then she saw how miserably the man panted for air. “Fine, you know what, I’ll call him again and you can relax for a minute.” She gave in and held her cellphone to her ear.</p><p>Seconds later, they could hear a cheerful song on the otherwise silent, abandoned street. Juliet turned back to Gus. The noise came from behind him. She knew this song.</p><p>It was Shawn's ringtone for her.</p><p>Quickly, she went over to Gus, but he already bent down to the ditch. When he straightened up again his face was frozen in horror. Juliet stopped abruptly and stared at the glowing object in his hand. The call ended and the glowing ceased.</p><p>They had found Shawn's phone.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the mild swearing in this chapter ;)<br/>Thanks for still reading!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Shawn regained consciousness again, everything was blurry and diffused. He could only identify dark, vague shadows, but somewhere above him was a light. He blinked a few times and tried to raise his head but that wasn’t as easy as it should have been; it felt like it would burst any second. The back of his head pounded especially intense and Shawn felt a warm liquid trickling down his neck.</p><p>Suddenly, a voice startled him.</p><p>“Finally awake! I'm long done with my preparations and was about to wake you. Perhaps a bit more rudely.” Declan grinned and stepped into the light so Shawn could see him. In his hand he held an already bloody baseball bat.</p><p>
  <em>Preparations?</em>
</p><p>Shawn tried to focus on the figure in front of him and understand what it was telling him. When Shawn finally recognized Declan and his wooden friend, he also remembered what brought him here. He wanted to lunge at him, but found that he couldn’t.</p><p>Shawn was restrained.</p><p>Confused, he realized that he was taller than Declan. And he couldn’t even feel the floor under his feet. <em>Wow, when did I learn to fly? </em>Shawn wondered and slowly turned his head to the side. His wrists were chained to some kind of wooden plate; his feet hung a few inches above ground. Shawn felt a tight leather noose around his neck and waist, which held him at his place. Shawn’s chest was bare. He only wore jeans.</p><p>“Wha’s this? A crucification?” Shawn wanted to scream at Declan, but his words came out choked and quiet and he slurred them. <em>Shit, that sounds like a concussion.</em></p><p>“Well spotted, Shawn.” Declan smiled sinisterly. “I've found a use for the T-shaped table after all.”</p><p>“Glad I… could help.” Shawn wheezed sarcastically, but Declan ignored him.</p><p>“And how fitting, don't you think? A crucification for the fraud.”</p><p>“And where do we… hang you then?” As soon as Shawn had spoken, he met Declan's baseball bat again as it came into contact with his gut. Shawn yelled out, wanted to double up, but couldn't. The chains were too tight. <em>Me and my big mouth, </em>he berated himself.</p><p>“Watch it Shawnie. Or this will be over faster than you think.” Declan warned.</p><p>His eyes were black. Truly black.</p><p>Shawn wasn't fond of Declan from the beginning, but now he looked absolutely psychotic. “You’re cr’zy.” Shawn slurred. “Isn’t your… your Daddy a psychol’gist? Didn't he teach you how to… deal with your problems?”</p><p>Again, a blow from the bat. It was harder this time. Further up his chest where the ribs started. <em>Damn,</em> <em>that</em> <em>hurt! </em>Shawn squeezed his eyes shut, strictly refusing to show any sign of weakness.</p><p>“I think we’re both special cases.” Declan said. “I mean, if someone has Mommy <em>and</em> Daddy issues then it would be you, wouldn’t it? You never learned to share.”</p><p>Shawn stopped tugging at the chains and tensed, knowing exactly what Declan was implying. <em>He better not dare to say her name</em>, he fumed. “Stop c-comparing y’rself to me. We have noth’ng in common!” Shawn spat, tripping over the words. <em>Damn concussion.</em></p><p>“Oh, but we do.” Declan’s sick grin grew. “Two charming, young men with remarkable skills, who both have a soft spot for the same woman.”</p><p>The haze in Shawn’s mind cleared abruptly and he fought harder against the firm shackles. “Don't you even—“ he hissed furiously.</p><p>“Once I get rid of you, everyone will think that you just skipped town; just like Shawn always does when <em>he </em>can't deal with a problem...” Declan reminded him with a sly smile. “Then <em>I</em> will take care of sweet Jules. She’s going to need a shoulder to cry on, don’t you think?”</p><p>“Shut up, you sick bastard!”</p><p>Declan went on as if he hadn’t heard the outburst. “And she'll be happy that I'm there for her. That I didn't leave her like you did.” he continued calmly and was thrilled like a maniac as he watched Shawn, struggling helplessly against the chains.</p><p>He was caught up in his net.</p><p>“If you ever come close to her… if you only lay one <em>finger</em> on her, you son of a bitch, I swear to god, <em>I kill you!”</em> Shawn managed to scream by now, pulling so hard at the chains that they cut into his flesh.</p><p>Declan was suddenly so close to Shawn that their faces were only inches apart. “Not if I kill you first, Shawn. And then Juliet is <em>mine</em>.”</p><p>“She will <em>never</em> be yours!” Shawn spat, and looked directly into the black, disturbed psycho-eyes. “She will never love you like she loves me. You think provoking a fight is enough to break us?! Think again. No matter what you do… whether you kill me or not… I will always love her and she <em>knows</em> that! She will never love you!”</p><p>One of Declan’s psychotic eyes twitched and his face turned red. Shawn knew what was coming now, but he faced it without any fear. Shawn knew that he was telling the truth and Declan knew it too.</p><p>
  <em>Jules will always love me.</em>
</p><p>Declan hauled off and let loose a furious growl when he let the baseball bat strike Shawn’s upper body. Repeatedly. Until Shawn felt the bones break beneath his skin. He suppressed the cries of pain until he couldn’t. Shawn screamed in agony, slamming his head against the wood. Everything started to spin and he got dizzy and sick.</p><p>Shawn’s head hung down, warm liquid dripping down his neck and over his chest. The dark red blood on his body was the last he saw before he blacked out.</p><hr/><p>There was silence for a few seconds before Juliet found her voice again.</p><p>“Oh, god.” she whispered, choked with fear.</p><p>Gus took a closer look at his friend's cellphone. “There's blood on the display.” he said, fighting against the urge to vomit.</p><p>“Oh, god, no!” Juliet exclaimed again. “Something happened to him—I knew it! Something <em>was </em>wrong!” Her whole body shivered and she couldn't look at the phone, let alone touch it. Panic and anxiety for Shawn threatened to overwhelm her. The fight. The anger. And now he possibly was in danger and she hadn't spoken to him yet. She hadn't apologized.</p><p>Juliet could tell that Gus was itching to run away, screaming like a little girl, but that wasn’t going to help Shawn. And it didn't help Juliet, either, because she felt like she was about to hyperventilate. <em>No, </em><em>stop it! I'm a </em>detective, <em>for heaven’s sake!</em></p><p>Gus extended his arm carefully to stop Juliet from shivering. “Okay...” he said firmly, almost as if trying to calm himself down, rather than her. “We have to stay calm. We have to find out what happened. Somebody must have heard or seen something.”</p><p>Juliet eased up a bit when Gus gave her something to think about. She nodded slowly and looked around. <em>He’s</em> <em>right, there has to be something. A clue, a lead, anything that would help… </em></p><p>Juliet did a double take. <em>A c</em><em>amera for example!</em></p><p>Without telling Gus what she had spotted, Juliet walked across the sidewalk and stood in front of a bank. Next to the entrance door was an ATM. Integrated into that ATM was a small camera, which recorded the person standing in front of it.</p><p>“Is that...” Gus started and stepped closer.</p><p>“A camera, which might have recorded what happened to Shawn?” Juliet completed his sentence. “Yes, Gus. It is.”</p><p>-----</p><p>After that, everything went on very quickly. Due to the late hour, the bank wasn't open anymore, but Lassiter would probably be able to demand the bank manager’s presence with only one call. When Juliet informed her partner, she tried with forced composure to explain to him what had happened since she left the Department, but he saw through her immediately.</p><p>“Don't worry, O'Hara. We'll find him. I’ll be there in twenty minutes, tops.” Lassiter said reassuringly.</p><p>Fifteen minutes later (as predicted), Lassiter and the disgruntled bank manager were on the premises and he ordered him to show them the footage from the earlier evening. What Juliet saw then was so horrible that her stomach churned.</p><p>At about 5:30 p.m. a white van drove past and shortly after that, Juliet, Lassiter and Gus were able to see Shawn. With his headphones plugged in, jogging past the section of the road that was visible on camera. The white van appeared again from the opposite side. First, it looked like it would drive past Shawn, but then it stopped.</p><p>Juliet took note of Shawn's grim, concentrated face, looking straight-ahead. He didn't notice the van. Juliet could imagine very vividly how the music in his ears distracted him while his thoughts still were on their fight.</p><p>Everything happened so fast.</p><p>The driver jumped out. He was masked and struck Shawn's head hard with a baseball bat. Shawn didn't even have a snowball's chance in hell.</p><p>He fell to the ground and the masked man opened the side door of his vehicle to stash him in. It took him less than a minute to drive off again without anyone noticing what had happened.</p><p>Juliet held her hand in front of her mouth and didn't dare to breathe. She felt Lassiter's and Gus' worried looks on her, but she ignored them. “<em>No</em>.” she whispered again. It seemed to be the only word she was able to pronounce.</p><p>“Who is that guy?” Gus asked into the silence.</p><p>“He didn't show his face.” Lassiter replied. “But we have a license plate.” he pointed toward the right corner of the screen where the license plate was barely visible. Normally, this was Juliet’s cue for calling this in to the Department so they could identify the owner, but she found herself staring unblinking at the screen which played the short footage in repeat.</p><p>Lassiter called the SBPD himself and then touched Juliet's shoulder lightly. “We should ask around in the neighborhood. Maybe someone heard or saw something.”</p><p>Juliet suddenly came back to life and leaned in to the computer screen. “No, wait. Can you rewind that a bit?” she asked the bank manager, pointing to the screen. He did what he was told. “Okay, now stop. Zoom in.”</p><p>Now the footage showed the masked man after he pushed the side door close and looked around to reassure himself that nobody has seen him. For a split second his head was facing the camera and his eyes were visible. Gus and Lassiter also moved closer and squinted.</p><p>“Can you close-up on his face, please?” Juliet asked and the bank manager zoomed in further. Two big, dark eyes stared back at her. She wouldn't have been so sure to whom they belong if not for the face mask leaving thick, bushy eyebrows to display. Juliet recognized him immediately. No doubt. Which made the whole ordeal so much worse.</p><p>“That's Declan!”</p><p>“Rand!?” exclaimed Lassiter and got even closer to the screen. “That lying bastard!”</p><p>Suddenly, Juliet became much more aware of what had happened in the last hours. She heard the words she said earlier to Shawn, repeating in her head. <em>“What the hell were you</em> <em>thinking,</em> <em>Spencer! How can you still be so jealous?</em> <em>I don't want to</em> <em>be protected!”</em></p><p>
  <em>What have I done?</em>
</p><p>With both hands pressed in front of her mouth she stepped backwards. Away from the screen that uncovered the truth she didn't want to believe. The truth her own fiancé <em>told</em> her. “No, no, no. He was right all along. He knew it!” Juliet couldn't hold back tears anymore. She felt a wall on her back and slid down. “And I didn't believe him. I didn't trust Shawn!” She hid her face between her knees feeling hot tears trail down her cheeks.</p><p>After a moment someone kneeled down beside her and laid a hand on her shoulder. “O'Hara, you couldn't have known. Rand fooled you.” her partner said.</p><p>“Declan was right. I am naive and... stupid.” Juliet sobbed. “It's my fault.”</p><p>“O'Hara--”</p><p>“No! Don't disagree with me!” Juliet snapped, angry with herself. “It's the truth! I only saw what he wanted me to see. <em>I</em> fought with Shawn and <em>I</em> am the reason why he was frustrated and went jogging and only therefore Declan was able to kidnap him. It's <em>all </em>my fault!”                                                                                  </p><p>“Juliet, don't beat yourself up, okay? We'll find Shawn and then he can say exactly what I just said to you: It is <em>not</em> your fault.” Lassiter tried to convince her by using first names; an indication that he was absolutely serious.</p><p>“And what if we can’t find him? Then I ruined everything. Ruined <em>us</em>!” Trembling she touched her engagement ring and remembered the moment when Shawn put it on her finger. A Spencer family heirloom. Their most valuable property. And he gave it to her. She didn't want to lose that. She didn’t want to lose <em>him</em>!</p><p>Lassiter and Gus helped Juliet to her feet. They thanked the bank manager and led her back to the streets again. Where it happened. She didn't want to think about it. She wanted to keep a clear mind to find Shawn, but couldn't help herself. The video repeated itself in her mind's eye.</p><p>A single blow.</p><p>Hard enough to struck him down. Who knows where Shawn was brought to? Or what Declan was even up to? Thoughts like that scared Juliet to no end.</p><p>Lassiter drove back to the station to check on the license plate. He also sent officers to search through Declan's mansion for Shawn or any clues to figure out where Declan was holding him. It was upon Gus and Juliet to knock at some doors to look for witnesses.</p><p>It was late at night by now and most of the people weren't happy about the disturbance or very helpful. It angered Juliet and she almost screamed at a particular unfriendly man that this could be a life or death situation, but Gus held her back.</p><p>Nobody could help. Nobody had seen anything they didn't already know. It all happened too fast.</p><p>When Gus and Juliet drove back to the station, she was a shivering, nervous wreck. Juliet didn't recognize herself anymore. When Shawn was in danger in the past she always managed to keep a professional mind to be able to save him. But back then he mostly got into these situations by himself. This time she was so sure that it was her fault that it ate her up inside. How could she live with herself if they weren’t able to find her future husband?</p><p>Gus tried to get her thoughts away from that, but Juliet could tell he was barely able to hold himself together. Because that <em>fear</em> might be more than just a fear.</p><p>It could be a fact.</p><p>“He wants to get rid of Shawn.” Juliet whispered. “That was his plan from the beginning.”</p><p>Juliet watched Gus’ eyes widen with the same realization and he stepped on the gas. “We’ll find him. We have to.”</p><p>“I'm scared.” Juliet admitted quietly to Gus. “What if he’s already--” Gus took her hand and shook his head.</p><p>“Don't think about it. We’ll find him.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading everyone! Enjoy the next chapter! ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It has been hours since Shawn was kidnapped. Now, it was past midnight and Juliet, Gus and Lassiter still had no idea where they should search for him. The license plate was a dead end; it belonged to one of Declan's employees, who wasn't in town at the moment. Street surveillance cameras lost the van when Declan turned to drive through residential areas so they couldn't track him. The search party in Declan’s mansion also turned up empty. The mansion was huge, but the police searched high and low for clues to Shawn’s whereabouts at least twice. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No trace. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Juliet didn’t want to imagine what Declan had done to her fiancé in the past hours. </span>
  <span>
    <em>Could it be possible that he wasn't even alive anymore?</em>
  </span>
  <span> She fought down panic and tears. </span>
  <span>
    <em>Was Declan Rand really capable of killing somebody?!</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Juliet felt so stupid. She hadn't even had the chance to apologize to Shawn. She didn't want their last moment to be a dumb fight. She wanted to tell him that she loved him. </span>
  <span>
    <em>He needs to know!</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p><span>Gus touched Juliet’s arm again while they sat in Chief Vick's conference room, going through all the same useless facts again. Juliet’s face gave away her horrible thoughts and Gus shook his head again, as if to say <em>"don’t think about it"</em>. But, somehow, that only made Juliet angry</span><span><em>. It’s no use to refuse</em></span> <span><em>to face the facts! Refusing to think of a possible truth</em></span> <span><em>because it is too terrible to live with!</em></span><span> Again, she realized that she, too, didn't want to believe the terrible truth when Shawn told her what names Declan had called her.</span></p>
<p>“<span>He can’t just vanish into thin air!” Lassiter grumbled frustratedly, pulling at his salt and pepper hair. “</span><span><em>Someone</em></span><span> must have noticed the damned van! Maybe you weren't insistent enough when you questioned the neighbors!” he accused Gus.</span></p>
<p>“<span>We were insistent!” Gus said defensively. “You saw the video. It didn't even take two minutes before he drove away again. It isn't a very busy street and I'm sure that scumbag didn’t pick it randomly.”</span></p>
<p>“<span>I know that, Guster! But you can’t tell me that we have</span> <span>absolutely no leads!” exclaimed Lassiter.</span></p>
<p>“<span>Detective, please!” Chief Vick warned. “Stop arguing and focus on the details. Like Shawn would do, right?” She reminded them. “So, what did we miss?”</span></p>
<p><span>Juliet stood up, fighting to stay calm and emotionless. She already lost control of too many feelings for her liking.</span> <span><em>Think like Shawn…</em></span> <span>Frustration seethed within her.</span> <span><em>What would Shawn be thinking now? What would he see that we missed? </em></span></p>
<p>“<span>We didn't </span><span><em>miss</em></span><span> anything.” Juliet hissed angrily. “Declan caught Shawn in broad daylight. He intentionally drove a route we couldn’t track and although we know who we’re looking for, we aren’t going to be able to find him until he shows himself. Declan…” She hated to speak out his name. “I mean </span><span><em>Rand</em></span><span> knows what he has to do to cover his tracks.” </span></p>
<p>
  <span>Juliet clenched her fists, her voice growing louder. “Fact is that he could be </span>
  <span>
    <em>anywhere</em>
  </span>
  <span> in Santa Barbara right now. God dammit, he may not even be in town anymore and he can do whatever the hell he wants to Shawn and we can’t do anything! Nobody has seen anything and we can't track Shawn because </span>
  <span>
    <em>we </em>
  </span>
  <span>have his cellphone!” Juliet screamed and cried at once.</span>
</p>
<p>“<span>Juliet is right.” Gus said suddenly. “We can't track Shawn.” Just like it was with Shawn and his revelations, everybody glared at him at first.</span></p>
<p>“<span>We know that, Guster!” Lassiter growled.</span></p>
<p>“<span>But maybe we can track </span><span><em>Declan's</em></span><span> phone!” Gus continued and suddenly it was silent, all attention on him. “Declan didn’t just trick </span><span><em>Juliet</em></span><span> but the whole </span><span><em>Department</em></span><span>."</span></p>
<p>“<span>Not me!” Lassiter reminded stubbornly and now he was on the receiving end of death glares.</span></p>
<p>“<span>Declan said that he was here for a job. Right, Chief?” asked Gus.</span></p>
<p>“<span>Mr. Guster is right.” Chief Vick answered, catching up with his idea. “Rand offered his services for cases but the phone number he gave was fake. We have nothing on file to trace him.”</span></p>
<p>
  <span>Juliet mouth gaped open and her hand unconsciously wandered to her jean pocket where she kept her phone. “Wait.” she said mechanically, when she realized that there indeed was a way to trace Declan’s phone.</span>
</p>
<p>“<span>O’Hara, what is it?” Lassiter asked.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>Juliet assumed that her skin must have lost color, because Lassiter actually looked concerned. Slowly, she fished for her phone and studied her contact list</span>
  <span>
    <em>. O… P… Q… R…</em>
  </span>
  <span>
    <em> There he was.</em>
  </span>
  <span> Declan Rand. His number still saved in her contacts. How Shawn didn’t notice and delete him by now was beyond her. “I still have his number,” she finally said sheepishly.</span>
</p>
<p>“<span>You what?!” Lassiter and Gus exclaimed simultaneously.</span></p>
<p>“<span>Read it.” Chief Vick ordered.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>She did what she was told. Then she just stood still, watching her friends springing into action. Juliet stared at the number in her phone, mocking her stupidity. The solution was so simple and yet only someone who thought outside the box, outside of police procedure could see it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In no time, they tracked the phone’s location. It showed a tiny house with a basement. There were only big factories surrounding the house, making it the perfect hiding spot. No neighbors, no one who could see or hear what Declan was doing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They had a lead! </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lassiter yelled his commands and compiled a team. But Juliet took her time to step in front of Gus with tears in her eyes, hugging him closely. “Thank you!” she whispered in his ear.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>This time, Shawn didn't manage to wake up in time. Declan forced him back into painful reality with a punch straight into his face.</span>
</p>
<p>“<span>Wake up, Sleeping Beauty! We've got more important things to do.” Declan growled. “By the way, that was for the broken nose, Sporto.”</span></p>
<p>
  <span>Shawn breathed heavily. His head was too heavy to raise. Everything was too heavy, actually. He couldn't feel his chained arms anymore and was getting limper by the minute, which caused him to steadily slide downwards, the leather noose choking him.</span>
</p>
<p><span>When Shawn tried to breathe in deeply, he was punished with a stabbing pain in his chest. At least one of his ribs must be broken and it threatened to puncture his lung. His whole upper body was littered with grotesque red, violet and blue-green blotches. Dried blood trailed down from his wound on the head. </span><span><em>Great,</em></span> <span><em>I bet I look hotter than ever right now, </em></span><span>he thought sarcastically</span><span><em>. God, I hate this guy.</em></span></p>
<p>“<span>I... am not... your Sp’rto. Don’ you dare… quote th’s movie.” Shawn slurred. Every word was so hard to articulate, but he wasn't giving up now. He didn't want Declan to feel like he had won anything.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>Declan ignored him. “Let's play a game, shall we?” He picked up a device and turned it on. It hummed with electricity. Shawn winced internally, recognizing it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <em>Cattle prod</em>
  </span>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How many electric shocks can you stand before you lose consciousness again... or before your heart stops?” Declan added with a sadistic grin.</span>
</p>
<p>“<span>This game’s stupid... if only one pers’n plays it.” Shawn responded, fighting to keep his fear and exhaustion at bay. Declan jarred him back to reality with a sudden jab from the cattle prod to Shawn’s chest, making him spasm uncontrollably for a few seconds that felt like hours.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>Shawn wheezed in and out, trying to still his trembling body. His heart was pounding furiously, like it would actually break out of his damaged ribcage any moment now. A wound on Shawn’s chest, which was in a particular dark violet color, burned harshly in return. “Let's play... who loses the girl first and... and torture his rival.” Shawn breathed hard, trying to hold still so he wouldn’t hurt himself even more. “Oh …I think you've already lost.” </span>
</p>
<p><span>Again he got the cattle prod. Longer this time. Pain ripped through his veins.</span> <span>So violently, so cruelly that Shawn couldn’t stifle a scream. Agony coursed through his entire body and stars danced in front of his eyes as Shawn fought to stay awake.</span></p>
<p><span>He suddenly heard Declan’s voice. “If I were you, I would stop smart-assing. It doesn’t do you or your injuries any favors.” Blearily,</span> <span>Shawn realized that it annoyed Declan that he was still trying to make him look like a fool. Despite his pain, Shawn didn’t plan on stopping any time soon. But unfortunately, Declan seemed to be very stubborn himself.</span></p>
<p><span>Shawn couldn't see straight anymore. Everything was growing hazier. He had just woken up but felt like he couldn't hold on much longer. </span><span><em>This is worse than hell</em></span><span>, he thought. His ragged breathing permanently adding more pain to his chest and he wished that he could just stop for a moment. Fear crawled up his spine. </span><span><em>No, to stop breathing means death. Bad idea.</em></span> <span><em>I don’t want to die. Keep breathing, </em></span><span>he told himself</span><span><em>. </em></span><span>Terrified of what would happen if he fell asleep again, Shawn forced himself to calm down and do what he did best. </span></p>
<p>
  <span>Stall.</span>
</p>
<p>“<span>Why are you… doin’ this in the first place? You think Jules won't find out... that you captured me?”</span></p>
<p>“<span>Maybe she will, someday.” Declan said matter-of-factly. “But do you think she’d care? I mean who in their right senses would choose </span><span><em>you</em></span><span> over </span><span><em>me?</em></span><span> You’re nothing but a liar. A pathetic man-child too afraid to grow up. How could she possibly build up a future with someone like you? It’s just… pathetic really.” Declan shook his head in laughter. “Juliet deserves the best, don’t you agree? She deserves </span><span><em>me</em></span><span>! Not </span><span><em>you</em></span><span>!”</span></p>
<p><span>The words stung badly but Shawn swallowed his anger</span> <span>and concentrated on keeping his eyes open. </span><span><em>I have to keep him talking.</em></span> <span><em>Talking doesn’t hurt as much as being electrocuted.</em></span><span> “Y’know, for me… this sounds like you’re jealous. And very… very delusional. Y’might wanna see a doctor. You’re sick.” Shawn groaned in pain when the electricity flowed through him again.</span></p>
<p>“<span>It isn't that sick when you know that you can get away with it. The SBPD is run by idiots.”</span></p>
<p>“<span>How d’you know?” Shawn slurred. “Maybe they’re already on their way… to find me. And throw you i-in the big house.”</span></p>
<p>
  <span>Declan shocked him again. “They don't know anything, Shawnie. Don't get your hopes up. All they know is that you disappeared after a fight and never returned. They don’t know that I have you, where you are, or that you will be dead by the end of the night.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With every sentence came another shock from the cattle prod, quickly draining Shawn’s strength. His body felt numb but at the same time it screamed in pain. </span>
  <span>
    <em>How is that even possible?</em>
  </span>
  <span> But Declan’s words were clear. Definite. Callous. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shawn started to shiver, his blood running cold when he realized that Declan wasn’t joking in any way. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <em>I will be dead by the end of the night.</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <em>How much longer is the night? </em>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There weren't any windows in the room where he was kept. Shawn had no idea how much longer he would last or if he had the chance to see Juliet one last time. He feared that he wouldn’t. Their last moment would be that stupid fight. Without noticing, he started to tear up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <em>I will never marry her. I will never tell her again that I love her. I will never hold her in my arms and tell her that none of this is her fault.</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All of Shawn’s strength and willpower to not show weakness left him. He started to cry silently. “Please.” he whispered, although he didn't want to beg. In his desperation, he couldn't help himself. “Please, don't.”</span>
</p>
<p>“<span>It's too late for that, Sporto.” Declan laughed and shocked him, making Shawn twitch and tremble again. Then his battered body slumped down even more and everything faded.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>----</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Suddenly, Shawn was in a light and painless state. He saw himself and Juliet. They were sitting on their couch. They laughed as they watched a movie. </span>
  <span>
    <em>Is this a happy moment from the past I’m allowed to remember before my life ends?</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In this dreamlike fantasy, Shawn put his arm around Juliet and kissed her temple. She cuddled closer to him. His left hand stroked her shoulder and she lifted her hand to his cheek, pulling him down and kissing him on the lips. Shawn recognized two golden wedding bands on his and Juliet’s finger. So, it was a vision from their future. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <em>My first real vision.</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shawn heard her beautiful voice. She spoke to him; she’s pregnant. Dream-Shawn grinned widely and threw his arms around her neck. The movie forgotten, they laid back, entangled on the couch, kissing passionately. Shawn could feel love.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then a white flash destroyed the picture and everything went black again. </span>
  <span>
    <em>No, I don't want to go yet! I want to live this future!</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another flash, and this time, Shawn felt the pain that came with it. Burning him up from the outside to his very core. Declan brought him back to end it. And he wanted Shawn to see, to know that he was the one who ended his life.</span>
</p>
<p>“<span>Time's up, Shawnie.” Declan grinned and raised the crackling cattle prod.</span></p>
<p>“<span>N-no. Don't do it. </span><span><em>Please</em></span><span>.” It wasn't more than a whisper. Shawn couldn't speak any louder. Couldn't swallow. Couldn't breathe. The noose choked him. He tried to struggle against his chains, although he knew every movement could cause his broken rib to severely hurt his lung. But he couldn’t just hang here and let Declan kill him. He couldn’t. </span></p>
<p>
  <span>Panic arose within him, his breathing picked up. </span>
  <span>
    <em>I can’t die! Jules needs me! And Gus and Dad and… </em>
  </span>
  <span>Shawn’s throat was constricting now. Desperately, he tried to breathe in but for no use. His panic tripled. </span>
  <span>
    <em>Need… Air… </em>
  </span>
  <span>Adrenaline rushed through him as Declan stepped closer, a sickening grin on his face, about to give him the death blow…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When suddenly, the door was kicked in. Startled, Declan stumbled backward, cattle prod still held high in his hand. The loud noise also startled Shawn, causing him to suck in a precious breath at last.</span>
</p>
<p>“<span>SBPD!” </span></p>
<p>“<span>Drop your weapon!”</span></p>
<p>“<span>Step back!”</span></p>
<p>“<span>Freeze!”</span></p>
<p>
  <span>Orders were shouted. It was loud and chaotic. Shawn was so out of it that he couldn’t understand what was happening. </span>
  <span>
    <em>Am I safe now?</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>From the corner of his eye, he saw Declan. He was in panic. Caught off guard. He didn't count on that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shawn’s subconscious already caught up with what Declan was about to do, making his body react to it like a reflex. Even though he wasn't able to explain how he could muster the strength. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Declan raised his cattle prod higher to connect Shawn’s arm with it, Shawn’s numb fingers felt for Declan’s skin. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shawn grabbed Declan’s hand as the cattle prod struck. The circuit was closed. Shawn was trembling uncontrollably. He heard a </span>
  <span>
    <em>bang</em>
  </span>
  <span>, ringing in his ears. The connection broke and he slumped down.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>DUN DUN DUN!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="western">
  <span>Lassiter was the first one down the staircase and into the basement. Behind him, several police officers and, at the very end, Juliet and Gus. </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>She was still mad at her partner for making her stand back. For her own safety is what he had said. It was either that or not being allowed to go in at all, because she was too personally involved. But Juliet planned to ignore his order the first chance she got.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Juliet heard Lassiter yelling at someone to freeze. That’s when she knew that she had to see it with her own eyes. She wanted to be the one who stopped Declan. She wanted to be the one who saved Shawn. She had to be. How else should she make up for what she had done? </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Juliet leaped forward, only to be restrained by two officers beside her. She struggled hard against them, yanking her arms and clenching her fists. “Let me go! I have to see Shawn!”</span>
</p>
<p class="western">“<span>Sorry, detective. Lassiter’s orders.” One officer said.</span></p>
<p class="western">“<span><em>No!</em></span><span> You don’t understand. I </span><span><em>have</em></span><span> to save him! I-I have to…” Juliet’s words died in her throat and she slowly stopped fighting as a horrible thought occurred to her. </span><span><em>What if it’s too late? What if I’m not able to save him because he’s already…</em></span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Juliet felt panic grabbing at her throat, squeezing mercilessly until she couldn’t breathe anymore. Lassiter was yelling. Several officers were reaching for their guns, the weapons clicking as they released the safety. But there was no other sound. </span>
  <span>
    <em>Why wouldn’t Shawn make a sound? Why wouldn’t he say something? Anything!</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>
    <em>Oh, god. It’s too late. It’s too late!</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>The officers had loosened their grip on Juliet’s arms, thinking that she had stopped struggling. But Juliet refused to believe her panic-fueled thoughts. It couldn’t be right. She had to see. Had to know. Forcefully, she yanked herself free and ran forward before she could be held back again.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Right in that moment, Lassiter screamed, </span>
  <span>
    <em>“No!”</em>
  </span>
  <span> and Juliet finally made her way into the room.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">S<span>he stood there, caught like a deer in the headlights. </span><span>Unable to move a muscle, Juliet felt her own blood rushing through her veins. Every sound in the room was drowned out by her pounding heartbeat.</span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>She saw Shawn. Hanging, chained to an upright positioned table. Chains dug deep into his skin, leaving swollen, bleeding cuts. Blood trailed down his body and pooled on the ground. Bruises and blotches colored almost every inch of his bare torso. The sight of him made Juliet’s head spin and her stomach churn. Her legs almost gave way and her mouth hung open in a silent scream that couldn’t escape her throat. Shawn’s eyes were shut and his head hung limply. He looked helpless, defeated… </span>
  <span>
    <em>dead</em>
  </span>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p class="western"><span><em>No,</em></span> <span><em>he’s moving</em></span><span><em>!</em></span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>There was no time to feel relieved, because then she saw Declan. He was standing next to Shawn, lifting his arm to connect something what looked like a cattle prod with Shawn. </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Everything moved in slow motion in front of Juliet’s wide eyes. She screamed with a voice that she didn’t recognize as her own. Shawn arched his fingers to touch Declan’s wrist in the same millisecond that Declan touched his. A buzzing sounded as the electricity divided into the two bodies, causing both men to shake violently.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>A deafening bang shook the whole room. </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Lassiter pulled the trigger of his gun, shooting Declan in the chest. He fell backwards to the ground and Shawn groaned in pain as the connection broke.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>After that, he wasn’t moving anymore.</span>
</p>
<p class="western"><span>Juliet couldn't feel anything.</span> <span>Only her racing heartbeat, pounding in her ears. There were movements all around her. Lassiter checked Declan’s vital signs. Gus ran towards Shawn.</span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>
    <em>Shawn!</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="western">“<span>Shawn!” Juliet screeched once reality finally hit her and she ran after Gus. Juliet rushed to her fiancé, lifting his head carefully so the band around his neck wasn't constricting his throat anymore. His eyes were closed. Almost peacefully. “Shawn,” she whispered again, tears flowing down her cheeks. “Shawn, wake up. I'm here, Honey. Please, wake up.”</span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Juliet stroked his dark hair out of his eyes and patted his cheek lightly. Suddenly, Shawn gasped for air, his eyes opening halfway. “Shawn! Oh, my god, can you hear me?” </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Shawn groaned, coughing, a small trail of blood leaking out of the corner of his mouth. He moved his head but didn’t seem to see her.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">“<span>It's okay, we're here.” Juliet assured him shakily and stroked his pale cheek, but he seemed to be disoriented. His eyes couldn't focus on anything even though she was standing only a few inches away from his face. Shawn gasped, his pupils dancing from left to right and he squeezed his eyes shut again. “Get him down!” Juliet ordered desperately.</span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Gus, who had already been trying to get his friend loose from the chains, enlisted help from Buzz McNabb and some other officers, who quickly freed Shawn from his restraints. “Careful!” Gus warned, obviously trying not to get distracted by the awful sight that was his friend. “He might have internal bleeding.” </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Juliet didn’t want to listen to Gus. His words scared her.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Shawn let out an agonized moan as the men laid him to the ground. Juliet steadied his head at all times, feeling something warm and liquid between the fingers of her left hand. She tried to think of something else and closed her eyes. </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>She didn't want to look. She knew that her hand and also her engagement ring would be covered in blood.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Shawn kept moaning in pain and his breathing was unsteady. Strained. Weak. Juliet felt like her heart was torn to shreds and she must have made a quiet sobbing sound. As if he had heard her, Shawn’s hand suddenly grabbed her arm, holding onto it like a lifeline and for a second their eyes fixed on each other.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">“<span>Jules...”</span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>He panted and Juliet gripped his hand tightly. “I'm here, Honey. Everything's going to be fine, I'm here.” Juliet noticed that Shawn wanted to say more but his eyes rolled back in his head and his body started jerking. Slightly at first, then more violently. As if he'd receive more electric shocks. “Shawn!” Juliet gasped in horror, trying to hold him still.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">“<span>Oh, my god! He’s seizing!” Gus cried out. “We need help! Hold on to him! Where are the paramedics?!”</span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Juliet’s tears were flowing down her face, but she barely noticed. She held onto Shawn’s hand, but that also happened without feeling. </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>She was so afraid. Too afraid to do anything but look at Shawn as he trembled. Like she feared that he could vanish if she took her eyes off him. </span>
  <span>
    <em>I can’t lose him. I absolutely can’t live without him</em>
  </span>
  <span>. </span>
  <span>
    <em>I can’t.</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>She thought she couldn’t possibly feel more terrified than right now, but the next moment multiplied her fear by ten thousand. </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Shawn’s jerking stopped. </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Completely. </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Gus cursed out something Juliet had never heard out of his mouth before and then he brought his ear to Shawn’s mouth and nose, his hand laying against his chest. Gus paled, despite his dark skin, and started chest compression.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Juliet stopped breathing, too. </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Everything around her was a haze of sounds and chaos. She could no longer understand what was happening. Or maybe her brain was just shutting down, refusing to understand, refusing to face something this terrifying.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Suddenly, Lassiter was kneeling by her side, talking to her, but she couldn't hear him. There was only Shawn. Her whole universe, her whole understanding, only circled around Shawn.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Shawn, who had stopped breathing. Shawn, whose heart had stopped beating.</span>
</p>
<p class="western"><span>Lassiter was shaking Juliet now. He had taken her by the arms, looking straight into her teary eyes. “Juliet? Juliet, listen to me, okay.” He spoke calm and serious. Juliet blinked, trying to concentrate on her partner’s words.</span> <span>“You have to breathe for Shawn. You know how to do that, right?” </span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>She stared. She nodded.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">“<span>Good. Then do it when I tell you.” he continued. “Paramedics are right outside. They’ll be here in a few seconds, you understand?” She nodded again. </span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Lassiter nodded back. “Okay, now breathe for him, Juliet. Three times.”</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>She did what Lassiter told her to do, without really comprehending it. She functioned like an autopilot program, following simple orders. Juliet pressed her lips onto Shawn's and gave him air. Three times. Gus continued his compression. Juliet heard unfamiliar voices, coming closer.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">“<span>Alright, Sir. We're taking over.”</span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>One of the new voices spoke to Gus. Another man replaced him at his work. The third man grabbed Juliet’s shoulders, pushing her back.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">“<span>No!” She wailed and, with that, she was thrown back into reality with full force. </span><span><em>Shawn's life was at risk!</em></span><span> “No, </span><span><em>let me go</em></span><span>! I have to stay with Shawn! I have to... he can't...” She screamed. She cried. But then her voice broke as someone pulled her toward them and she sobbed into Lassiter’s chest.</span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>He held her tightly. She trembled. She heard the paramedics talking.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">“<span>Defibrillator is loading.”</span></p>
<p class="western">“<span>Stand back.” </span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>
    <em>Shock.</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="western">“<span>No pulse. Again.”</span></p>
<p class="western">“<span>Stand back.”</span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>
    <em>Shock.</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="western">“<span>No pulse. Again.”</span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Juliet squeezed her eyes shut, fisting Lassiter’s jacket tighter every time the doctor stated: “No pulse”. She felt hollow. Empty. There was pain. So much pain. </span>
  <span>
    <em>Unbearable pain.</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>It was the fourth shock that brought them both back to life.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Shawn made a gurgling noise. It sounded nothing like an actual breath but it was a sign of life. “We've got a pulse! Get him the oxygen mask!” The doctor exclaimed and Juliet sucked in a breath, her fingers releasing Lassiter’s jacket. She felt like the weight of the world was lifted off of her shoulders.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Lassiter let out a shaky sigh and Juliet was finally able to open her eyes again and turn around. Gus still kneeled on the ground with his hands folded, apparently sending a prayer towards the sky. Shawn was way too still for his standards and down on the cold, dark floor his skin seemed even paler and more battered, which frightened Juliet immensely. But he was breathing with the help from a mask that was strapped in front of his mouth and nose.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>As soon as he was reasonably stable again, he was lifted carefully onto a gurney and was rushed outside to the ambulance car. Juliet managed to escape Lassiter’s hold and run after on unsteady legs.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">“<span>Wait! I have to go with him. Please, I'm his fiancée!” Juliet pleaded. The doctor nodded his okay and helped her inside. Shawn was immediately attached to several machines, which beeped and buzzed in response, but he himself made no movements. Eyes closed, he laid there and didn’t know how busy everyone was working all around him. He looked helpless and alone. </span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Frightened, Juliet took Shawn’s cold hand and kissed his forehead. “It's going to be fine, Honey. You'll be okay.” she assured him, keeping the next words to herself.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>
    <em>You have to be.</em>
  </span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p class="western">
  <span>Everything that happened in between was a blur.</span>
</p>
<p class="western"><span>Juliet dug her nails into the uncomfortable plastic chair of the hospital waiting room.</span> <span>Anxious, she waited, hoped, </span><span><em>prayed</em></span><span> that Shawn would be out of surgery soon. Gus was sitting next to her with his head in his hands, taking a break from pacing like a tiger in a cage. Lassiter had to go back to the station to deal with the paperwork as the detective who took down Declan.</span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Juliet stood as Henry rushed into the waiting room, still in his fishing gear from his interrupted trip. Juliet had called him the moment she got to the hospital and it had taken a few hours for him to arrive.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Like a child, she wasn’t even able to look Henry in the eyes. She felt so enormously guilty. Clearly, Henry would be mad at her, too, for what she did. But to her surprise, he did something unusual. At least unusual for him.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>The otherwise grumpy, elder man hugged her tight. </span>
</p>
<p class="western">“<span>It's not your fault, Sweetie.” Henry said.</span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Juliet started to cry again. She thought it was weird not being able to stop once she started, but as long as the shock ran so deeply and she hadn't any clue about Shawn's condition, she had to deal with her weak and fragile state. </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>While they were waiting, an image stuck in Juliet’s empty head. The last time Shawn looked at her, before all of this happened. When he was so angry and hurt after the fight. When he stormed out of the station. </span>
</p>
<p class="western"><span>Juliet touched her engagement ring, trying to hold onto it somehow. She washed the blood off of it hours ago, but somehow she could still see it. Juliet rubbed over it, cleaning imaginary red stains as tears welled up once more. </span><span><em>God, Juliet, stop that,</em></span><span> she scolded herself.</span> <span>But she couldn’t help herself. </span><span><em>His eyes were so full of pain. I betrayed him.</em></span><span> It would be unbearable if that would have been the last glance Shawn ever gave her.</span></p>
<p class="western">“<span>Family and friends of Shawn Spencer?”</span></p>
<p class="western"><span>Gus, Henry and Juliet jumped up. “How is he?”</span> <span>They asked in unison.</span></p>
<p class="western"><span>The doctor smiled. “He's out of the woods now. Mr. Spencer has a mild concussion and suffered from several blunt-force traumas due to the beating, but none of them were life-threatening. However, some of his lower ribs were partially fractured and one of his ribs had injured his</span> <span>lung.”</span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Juliet’s relief turned back to worry but the doctor wasn’t finished yet. “We were able to patch him up and his heart follows the normal sinus rhythm again, but he will have trouble breathing for the next few days. For now, we’ve attached Mr. Spencer to a ventilator, which will help him breathe. He’s recovering and resting now, so we hope that he’ll be able to breathe on his own when he wakes up or even before that.”</span>
</p>
<p class="western"><span><em>When he wakes up.</em></span><span> That sentence echoed in Juliet’s empty brain. She desperately hoped that Shawn would be fine. The concussion might have caused damage to his brain. And did the doctor really just say he only</span> <span><em>hoped</em></span><span> that Shawn will be able to breathe on his own? What if not? </span><span><em>This can’t be quite clarified as “out of the woods” yet</em></span><span>, Juliet thought angrily.</span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>The life of her fiancé was still at risk and she couldn’t bear the thought to live without him. It was like a cold clutch around her heart, squeezing tightly so that it felt like it was on the verge of bursting. This couldn’t be happening. Shawn wouldn’t just leave her alone like that. He wouldn’t do anything to harm her. Not even emotionally. He would rather get hurt himself than risk her well-being. </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>An ice-cold shiver ran down her spine, making her tremble, both out of sadness and anger. </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Sadness, because Shawn had done just that. He did everything he could to protect her from Declan, and then he got hurt himself. Because of her. </span>
  <span>
    <em>She</em>
  </span>
  <span> hurt him. With her words. With her actions. She believed Declan over </span>
  <span>
    <em>him</em>
  </span>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p class="western"><span>Now</span> <span>Declan was the reason for why she shivered with anger. God, how she despised that bastard! Juliet felt sick to her stomach when she remembered, that she actually dated this guy once. The same person, who left Shawn in this bleeding, battered, helpless state. The same person, who almost killed him. It was absolutely horrid! How could she? How could </span><span><em>he?!</em></span><span> How could this be the same man? Seething, Juliet wished that it would have been her bullet that killed Declan not Lassiter’s.</span></p>
<p class="western">“<span>Can we see him?” Gus, who was standing right next to her, asked nervously and Juliet shook herself out of her thoughts.</span></p>
<p class="western">“<span>He's still unconscious, but you can wait for him to wake up.” The doctor said. “I suggest you not to overexert Mr. Spencer, though. It would be best if you visit him one at a time.”</span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>They all nodded in agreement and were led to Shawn’s room. Henry and Gus both urged Juliet to go in. Actually, she didn't want to protest, but for the sake of politeness she asked if Henry wanted to see his son first.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">“<span>Yeah, I’m his father.” Henry said to her. “But when he wakes up, he’ll want to see you first. After all… you’re engaged to him.” he added with a smile. The thought obviously made him happy. Then, he pushed his soon to be daughter-in-law through the door.</span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>It was hard not to look away instantly, when Juliet recognized the state Shawn was in. His hair stuck to his head and bandages were wrapped around it. A long tube was put down his throat. Although the tube helped him breathe, it still looked utterly scary. Right now, the bed sheet covered the worst part, but Juliet knew that his torso will probably light up in every possible color for a while. </span>
  <span>
    <em>One more scar</em>
  </span>
  <span>, she thought sadly, thinking about the time Shawn was kidnapped and shot.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>She shivered again, remembering how afraid she was back then. But this time it was even worse. Juliet felt cold and numb and the icy grip around her heart was more prominent again as she saw him like this. On wobbly legs, she stepped forward.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>She took his hand in between hers and sat on the edge of his bed. “Hey, Shawn. It’s me, Juliet. C-Can you hear me?” Her voice was quivering and she cleared her throat. But Shawn didn’t react, showing absolutely no sign of being able to hear her. However, Juliet wanted to believe that he was listening. She lowered her head, speaking quietly into her lap. </span>
</p>
<p class="western">“<span>I-I’m so sorry, Shawn.” she suppressed a sob. “I’m sorry that I didn’t trust you. It’s my fault that he captured you</span> <span>…God, I wish I had trusted you.” Her voice was trembling again and she wiped tears from her cheek. After composing herself, she looked up with determination in her eyes, gazing straight into his still face. “But I </span><span><em>will</em></span><span> marry you… if you still want to marry </span><span><em>me</em></span><span>.” </span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Juliet kept sitting there in silence for a moment, watching Shawn breathe and listening to the steady </span>
  <span>
    <em>beep</em>
  </span>
  <span> of his heart monitor. Then she leaned closer, kissing his forehead and whispering, “I’ll be waiting right here for you.” </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>THIS IS A DOUBLE UPDATE! If you haven't already, please read chapter 6 first! <br/>I just decided to post twice today because I couldn't wait to finish this story. :) Because… I wanted to finish this old one before I post something new! ;) Yes, I finally wrote NEW stuff for Psych and I can't wait to share it with you! It's a new missing scene moment, so if you like, be on the lookout for that… :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="western">
  <span>When Shawn awoke for the first time, he did it without really noticing that he was awake. He just felt something constricting his airway and he involuntary tried to suck in a breath. Then he felt like he was choking and he tried to cough. Unable to do that either, his gasps for air became more frantic and his heart sped up. </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Then suddenly, he disappeared into sweet oblivion again.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>The next time Shawn came to his senses, he wasn’t choking anymore. The constricting feeling was gone, but he still couldn’t understand anything that was happening around him. He saw lights, shadows and figures without knowing what they meant. Both his conscious and unconscious states were so surreal that he couldn’t tell them apart. Sometimes he heard voices. Far away. Then closer to him. But he couldn’t answer.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>It took a while—he couldn’t tell exactly how long—until he was able to open his eyes and actually become aware of his surroundings.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>He was staring at a crisp white wall. A steady beeping sound echoed in the room. Shawn made a move to turn his head, but stopped, groaning slightly when everything spun. </span>
  <span>
    <em>Ugh… what happened? </em>
  </span>
  <span>His groan was responded with a startled gasp.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Then he saw her.</span>
</p>
<p class="western"><span>Juliet’s face was right in front of him. The light, which shone through a nearby window, enlightened her hair, making it glow like a halo. But his angel was sad for some reason. Tears ran down her cheeks and she wiped them away quickly. Maybe not to worry him.</span> <span>She said something that Shawn didn't catch. </span></p>
<p class="western">“<span>Jules.” He croaked out. </span><span><em>Damn, my throat is sore. Like awaking after screaming through a two hour heavy metal concert.</em></span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Juliet was immediately reaching for some water on his bedside. She gently held his head and he sipped. Shawn noticed the pain when he swallowed. </span>
  <span>
    <em>Pain? Why pain?</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Juliet started talking again. Somewhat quiet and rushed. Shawn tried to concentrate on her words and simultaneously attempting to remember what had happened. He certainly didn’t remember that multitasking could be so hard. </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>
    <em>She talks too fast. Is she apologizing for something? For what? Why do all women have to talk so fast? Or maybe it’s me who’s thinking too slowly?</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>It wasn’t until Juliet mentioned Declan’s name in her whirlwind of words that Shawn’s memory came back with a start. The fight. His black psycho-eyes. The baseball bat and the blood painting his chest. The pain and the electrocution and… </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>
    <em>Jules.</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>
    <em>She was there. I saw her. But… where is Declan now?</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Shawn’s eyes nervously darted left and right, his head still being too heavy to move. “Where is... where’s...” he mumbled.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">“<span>Shh, don't worry, Honey. It's all over. He can't hurt us anymore.” Juliet soothed him, caressing his stubbly cheek. </span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Shawn settled down and stared at her for a long time. “Scout’s honor?” He asked and Juliet nodded with a slight smile. Realizing that she was in fact not in any harm, he smiled contentedly and was about to drift off to sleep again, when the whirlwind started anew.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">“<span>Oh, Shawn, I'm so sorry.” Juliet said suddenly, tears streaking her cheeks. “Everyone says not to blame myself, but it </span><span><em>is</em></span><span> my fault! He fooled me. </span><span><em>Declan</em></span><span>.” She spat. “If I had trusted you, none of this would have happened. I mean, we want to get</span> <span><em>married!</em></span><span> I’m your</span> <span><em>fiancée</em></span><span><em>!</em></span><span> I shouldn't have even doubted you for one second! You said that yourself. I'm so sorry.”</span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Shawn frowned. He would have liked to stop her apology sooner, but his brain still worked too slowly to interrupt her. At least he could follow her words now. </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Shawn reached weakly for her left hand, bringing it to his lips for a kiss. That slowed her down so he was able to say something. “I was angry w-when I said that. Y’know that I don't blame you. It was his entire fault.” Shawn had to clear his throat, which hurt, too, but he ignored it, too eager to comfort her. “It’s what he does. He knew exactly what he had to say to trick you a-and to piss me off.” Shawn pressed Juliet’s hand against his cheek. “But you said it’s over now. He's gone, right?”</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Juliet nodded, relief washing over her face. “Yes, Shawn. He's gone.” </span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Shawn pulled her down to him so she had to lean her forehead against his in their 'very-close-talking' position. “Good. Because no matter what I said or… or what you said... nothing and nobody can ever stop me from marrying you, Jules.” Shawn whispered tiredly and kissed her.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Juliet chuckled quietly, kissing him back. In Shawn’s head, he could imagine them kissing just like that on their wedding day.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">“<span>Nothing can stop me either from marrying you, Mr. Spencer. I love you.” Juliet whispered back. </span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>It was great to hear her saying his last name. Soon it would be her last name, too. They stayed in their familiar position until Shawn fell asleep again. With a smile on his face.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>The pink bubble of happiness was back!</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>
    <b>The End</b>
  </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for reading you all! I hope you enjoyed it. :)<br/>See you very soon...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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